* + loneliness from surroun`ddingg ...

Imagine me without you

2007-12-04T00:57:00.000+08:00

As long as stars shine down from heaven
and the rivers run into the sea
till the end of time forever
you’re the only love I’ll need

In my life you’re all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You’re the one that’s there for me

When I found you I was blessed
and I will never leave you, I need you

Imagine me without you
I’d be lost and so confused
I wouldn’t last a day, I’d be afraid
without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it’s just impossible
Because of you, it’s all brand new
My life is now worthwhileI can’t imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
you’re love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard me calling
and you rush to set me free

I can’t imagine me without you

bou...

2007-12-04T00:52:00.000+08:00

Boy you know I miss you so I didn’t know you had to go
You’ve had enough of our distance baby Before I had the chance to say I’m staying with you For the rest of my life
Don’t keep telling me these words You don’t know how much it hurts
And I’ll promise you eternity If you promise me your stay I’m no longer the man that I was
I will go on without you Like a fool who’s too sure I’m like a bird who’s lost her wing A fire without its flame
I don’t know how to be strong When my love has to move on I am a song without a soul Now that you’re gone What’s left of us is memories
It’s our memories without a soul
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I’m missing you and I’m wishing you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know; so now I’m all alone
Boy you could have stayed but you wouldn’t give me a chance
Without you around it’s a little bit more than I can stand
And all my tears they keep runnin’ down my face
Why did you turn away?
So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you

Lost Love

2006-10-12T12:59:00.000+08:00

Lost Love

#1.

Trying to forget someone you love is

like trying to remember someone you never met

#2.

Real loss only occurs when you lose

something that you love more than yourself

#3.

If I could have one lifetime wish,

one wish that would come true,

I'd pray to God with all my heart,

for yesterday...and you

#4.

It's a horrible thing to see your lost love

walk past you with another girl,

and it's the worst thing to know that

you made a mistake in letting him go

#5.

I can't escape the thought of you.

Even in my dreams you are there.

It's not fair how your gone,

and how you're moving on so fast,

while I am still living in the past

#6.

Don't ever give up if you still want to try,

don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry.

Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know.

Don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go

#7.

No matter how much it'll hurt me to see you,

my most loved lost one,

all that I wish is look into your eyes once again

#8.

Letting go of someone dear to you is hard,

but holding on to someone

who doesn't even feel the same is much harder.

Giving up doesn't mean you are weak!

It only means that you are strong enough to let go

no... not good

2006-10-08T11:26:00.000+08:00

my feeling when you told me

about her

wasnt good...

15 sept

2006-09-18T17:08:00.000+08:00

15 september

simply dont understand why she like such a
lazy stupid fucking busted like HIM...
who only knows how to eat soft rice...
so lazy..
only think of people will be down to shop and help...
you yourself are not part of the shop...
dont think that you're so great...
without you the shop ish still the same...or even better...
all because of you the shop became lidat...
and all because of you they both became lidat...
bear this in mind...

you are the CAUSE of EVERYTHING !

females and males...

2006-09-12T23:19:00.001+08:00

being females theres advantages

for we females ish that we dont need to serve the nation

like what guys did

we dont need to carry heavy loads if guys are around...

we will be protected of shelted under guys...

fighting will not be done by us in fact the guys...

guys are suppose to drive girls home and sent her to her door step...

marjority of the times...

meals and movies are paid by guys...

fixing of electrical items are normally done by guys

when females will be there preparing meals...

guys are suppose to support the whole family with finance monthly

by giving the females household money...

moving of heavy furnitures are normally done by guys...

females should normally be pampered by guys instead of guys being pampered by females...

maybe at times...

sweet words cannot only be done during relationships adn starting of marriage...

in fact... throughout the lifetime...

chores are not only meant for females...

it should be shared among both male and female...

giving birth ish tough and painful for females

and dont only pampered we females for the period of time...

and treat us back like maid after birth...

guys should accompany females for window shopping at times

helping females to carry things...

(helping and not carry everything)

show the love that you showered for her...

thought some guys dont...

paying things for females at time...

dont only show her how good you arebut also showing the cashier

how good you are as a boyfriend or husband at times...

using money to buy tons of things for females that dont like you...

only shows that you are trying to use money to buy her heart

or even still... showing how brainless you are...

holidays

2006-09-12T20:00:00.000+08:00

Friday 8th Sept 2006

at night went out with huili after the 9 o clock show...

mmm

rather a stupid ending...

anyway i met her after that...

and we went to cck for supper again...

she suggested of going to

the other side of the mrt station

where all coffee shops are located at...

but when we went,

there was simply too much people...

then she said...

we shall go back to macdonald then...

arrgh

went back to macdonald and had our supper...

after that went up to kpool and played till 2+

and went home...

as ive to wake up very early

Saturday 9th Sept 2006

woke up and 6am in the morning...

after brushing teeth...

went to change immediately and put on my light makeup...

double checking for everthing and left the house immediately...

reached khatib at 7.30 something

and walk out to the road

hoping onto the car...

reached commando camp and settled down...

firming down everything and my hands are tired !

the video camp ish veri heavy...

haha...

after the passing out...

went back to khatib

and within half an hour

ive fallen into deep sleep

i didnt wanted to wake up but i was forced to...

by smacks on my butt by one idiot...

kaos...

met mummy and baby they all

and we drove the car down to ps...

lionel ish sho spoiled !

hais...

with cheese in the fillet and he will jz sae...

i dont want...

with his own family sharing the cup of milo with him

he complain...

with the milo powder bass he stop drinking...

mummy touched his fats and he acted like a girl...

jumped on the maid leg...

come on fatass...

you're 30 over kg and your maid ish only 40 over kg...

you are sitting her leg and not the other way round...

can stand you this spoiled child...

lucky you are said by your mum...

reached home at 9.40 pm and ran into the bath room and bathe quickly

went out to meet the rest

(valen huili francis and jonathan)

we drove the car in to sentosa and parked at the multi carpark...

walked all the way up the stairs just to go to dragon trail...

the atmosphere when we reach was "wow"

haha... francis and huili start the journey off...

our jorney starts at 11.30 pm...

with one big round moon on the sky

oning our touches

(two big yellow light and one small but powerful white light)

followed closely behind both of them ish valen and i

then jonathan...

afraid of something might just happened to jon,

i asked valen to pass him her phone with music

and valen held on me tightly while we walked...

theres alot of ants and frogs...

haha...

we have finally reached the top of the dragon trail and we rest there...

as usual...

with music and chatters...

after that.... there was two path...

one narrow and one wide...

we chose the narrow one...

its narrow and steep...

and its very very steep...

the night occurs to be silent with only the sound of the music played...

but valen was there shouting...

when she shouted...

i followed suit

as shes holding onto me...

after our walk...

we went back to the car and put our things back...

we then walk to 7-11 and got some alcohols...

one bacardi breezer (peach)

two stroke

one e33

carlsberg

green tea and whiskey

we reached palawan beach

and we got nothing to do

so francis went to 7-11 and

got a pack of card and one can of amsterdam (11.6%)

whoever who lose the round of game got to drink a slip of amsterdam...

and unluckily i was the first one to drank...

to me...normal the first one who lost the game

will continue to be the loser at night...

after me... jonathan was the seond losr and im the third again...

lucky... the overall lost of the night was not me...

it was valen...haha

after the first slip of the amsterdam i got abit unstable

or rather the three girls cant walk in staight line

(tipsy ?)

after finishing amsterdam...

we opened carlsbery and continue the game

valen became naughty and started kissing bitting nibbling me all about...

trying to seduct me... haha

anyway...

our night ended at merely 6

and francis drove us home...

with almost everyone falling asleep

goodnight my lurrb

# shUMin __ __

september holidays

2006-09-06T23:40:00.000+08:00

mmm... N Level Chinese paper one two three and social studies ish DONE! good... but did it during the September holidays... when the rest of the other people ish having their one week holiday... lucky... N Level only occupied two days... =)

Normal Academic in level six double class room… and Normal Technical in level five double class room... presently all the four papers ive done.. the first half ish in the double class and second half... HAHA... in commerce room !... hehe... Mr. Chan and one female malay teacher in the room... wah... bloody hell cold on the first day lo... second day took my jacket to school... but didnt have the chance to wear... because Mr. Chan always adjust the air con for me... haha... without telling him anything... just by looking at me taking out tissue he will adjust as he sat right in front of me playing his laptop?...

anyway... had dinner with ah siao this two days... first day had dinner in clementi central Japanese restaurant and its simply not nice... =D... second day... mm… wanted to eat at Café Cartel... but didnt wanted to go so far... so end up... we went Jurong Point to eat Piazz Hut...

met an attitude malay waitress... shitty hell... but haas… her power ish not big enough to spoil our mood... just continue to siao on as usual... =) too bad... valen wasnt free or rather available lately... so no choice...

ah fat called me on Monday ? alerting me that he might be out of commando... mmm... felt rather sad in the first point... but things became better today... ( Wednesday)... cause firstly he told me that he was not the only one... in fact... sixty of the whole company was involved... but everything gotta depend on Thursday... which ish tomorrow... final decision is not up yet... if he were to be out of commando... his dad wont be able to wear that hat for him... but if he were to be out sixty of them will be in another company... known as the sergeant... so now just praying hard that he wont be out... anyway... he also told me that for those who will not be in commando... they will be detained and do night duty... and now den I thought thru again... must they need sixty people to do night duty when they had change their rule from 8 people during night petrol to only two people ?

super super superman... =)

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

2006-09-01T23:12:00.000+08:00

mmm... long time never come in and blog le... ever since...mmm... my prelims started ? hahaha... it doesnt matter anyway... =)

n level ish seriously just round the corner... on Monday and there goes my Mother Tongue paper one and two... Tuesday ish my Mother Tongue paper three and Social Studies... shit... the time ish sho not right... sianz... felt rather shag this time round... didnt really study much nor touched the book... hais... jialat...

went back to gan eng seng primary that day... days before returning... i messaged as much sexier ( haha... people from six`c) as I could... but HAIS... sad ! all DONT WANNA RETURN and cannot return ! what the hell lo hais... ish secondary as dear to them as primary ? dont they miss ms lai ?... SAD... anyway... I went back with alex and Benjamin cheok... we have all changed... both alex and ben had grown taller and alex ish much more slimmer nowadays =p... sorry haha... we reached around 330 and stayed till aound 420... sat down and chatted with ms lai... exchanging everything =)... after chatting we left and went to took bus off together... reach home le continue to watch my tv and went out with ah siao at night... hahaha... last minute went out with her... =s... hahaha... went to cck and eat macdonald... after that went to play pool with her until 1+ den go home... the matches that we had was like hell =s...

woke up at 9+ this morning... also dont know why so early... early duno do wat... den... mmm reached home at 10 as I was out with ah siao for dinner and a walk... hahaha... crazy...

goodnight my lurrb...
# shUMin __ __

20th Aug 2006 - fook !

2006-08-22T22:41:00.000+08:00

LAN REN SHI NIAO DOU

this phrase is rather true...

early in the morning...

all you know how to do ish to

eat and shit...or shit and eat...

your fart ish indeed like a bomb...

you wanna bomb PLEASE

go and BOMB YOUR OWN house...

and not MY HOUSE...

straight after your shitting...

came out from the toilet...

all you can ask ish...

"ish the bread gonna be the breakfast of the day"...

oh PLEASE...

fook off...

wonder how come she will like

such a :

SLOW reacted

USELESS

SHORT

FUCKING IDIOT like YOU ?!

bills dont need you to pay...

at night got time for you to sleep

you dont wan... morning give the kinda of

fucking look...

dont waste money...

wanna waste...

please go back to YOUR HOUSE and waste...

this ish my house...

not YOURS...

dont call me until as though we re so close...

MY family and YOUR family are

as good as STRANGER...

20th Aug 2006 - youre so UNFAIR !

2006-08-22T22:37:00.000+08:00

all you care for ish other people son...

but unlikely to be your daughter...

you ask yourself...

how you reacted when OTHERS peoples

(WITHOUT any BLOOD relate)

son gotfever of 38.3

and how YOU reacted

WHEN your OWN daughter

got of the same degree and even higher?

2006-08-19T13:13:00.000+08:00

its a lovely feeling

knowing that youre there..

sharing all the dreams i have...

the way yuou always care...

you...

2006-08-19T13:08:00.000+08:00

day had passed

hours had slipped away

every second seems like an agony for me

since the day you left

your face

your smile

you care

and your everything

kept flowing thru my mind

i think of

the moments we shared

the days we spent together

the sweet memories we had

i wish we can be like before

i will be waiting for you

right here waiting for you

Remembers and Forgets

2006-08-12T00:44:00.000+08:00

Remember to remember me
Forget of forgetting me

Even if you dare to
remember to forget me...
I will never forget to
remember to

remind you
to remember me...

stress...

2006-08-12T00:24:00.000+08:00

wah... hais...
stress arhs...
got sho many things to do and study for !!!...
my mind ish bursting soon...help!...
gotta rush for art practical like siao...
16th aug gotta pass up...
hais...
dont know if tomorrow, 12th aug wanna go back for art anot...
coz i brought back my black sheet to do le...

hais...
got
social studies...
geography...
maths...
mother tongue...
biology...
phycis...
and my prelim art haben do...
all hab piang... kaos...

5 sheet of drawing...
one final piece and
one evaluation...
shit...
my mind ish bursting...

mr heng ish correct...
if only one person can have a thousand of hours everyday...
hais...
twenty-four ish never enough !

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

stupid...

2006-08-10T21:14:00.000+08:00

ive made the world stupidest choice...

that ish... to cut myself because of you...

the blame ish not on you...

its all nu myself...

im not putting any blame and i cant put any on you...

despite of knowing its the stupidest choice to choose...

but i still chose it...

i just dont know why...

but yup...

i did it...

this time round...

my blood bleeds for you...

thanks friends...

thanks ; alvin...ivy...baizurah...

i didnt meant to hurt in purpose...

but i just couldnt control...

i guess...

im just stupid...

goodnight my lurrb

# shUMin __ __

im...

2006-08-10T21:10:00.000+08:00

im one...

who appears to be very strong in heart

but actually im real weak...

im one...

who spending my time protecting others

but i really need someone to protect me...

goodnight my lurrb

# shUMin __ __

do u ?

2006-08-10T21:08:00.000+08:00

do you know how difficult it ish to act happy

when im actually not...

especially in front of the one i love...

one i love but doesnt belongs to me...

its a hard job for a very weak girl to do...

goodnight my lurrb

# shUMin __ __

sweet names ? stil got...

2006-08-10T21:04:00.000+08:00

qing ai de dear dear dearie darling

sweetie honey coated

chocolate vanilla strawberry peppermint

raseberry mocha coffee rum-rasin almond

berry coconut lychee apple

durian orange watermelon kiwi

LuRvE

2006-08-10T20:43:00.000+08:00

pick a good heart

plant it in a bucket of trust...

water with care plus good thought

add some romancing occasionally

and

removes the misunderstanding leaves..

a message of which i also dun get it...

2006-08-10T20:39:00.000+08:00

i will listen to logic and reason
when it comes out on cd

a girl ish like a tea bag...
you cant see how strong she ish...
until you see her in hot water...

i dont suffer from insanity ;
i enjoy every minute of it...
if you dont like me...
say it to my face...

woman need a reason to have sex...
man just need a place...

be nice to your kid
they will choose your nursing home

today has been a total waste of make up
some woman get excited for nothing
and then marry him...

forever

2006-08-10T20:36:00.000+08:00

i miss you when you are not here...
i prefer doing things together with you...

today i wished you were with me...
... and stayed that way forever...

no.. i dont wanna...

2006-08-10T20:26:00.000+08:00

i dont wanna be like cinderalla...
sitting in the dark old dusty cellar...

i dont wanna be like cinderalla...
to reach home when the clock strike 12 and be back to the old me with you...
feeling so lonely... without happiness
and the only place that i can see you ish in my dream...

superman...

2006-08-05T15:56:00.000+08:00

superman have not lost his power...
power ish never lost..,
batman ish dead...i noe..
spiderman ish havin song ka i noe...
but superman have not..
coz i have not lost any feeling for him yet...

goodnight my lurrb

# shUMin __ __

...

2006-08-05T15:43:00.000+08:00

life sucks...
love sucks...
everything sucks...

lost ?

2006-08-05T15:12:00.000+08:00

i dont suit the one i love...
i just suit the one that love me...
its just as simple as not getting my very own happiness...
one moment of happiness and one moment of sadness...
it has simply became a history...
history of sadnesss ;
history of happiness ;
history of care and everything
but not history of love...

tell me that you re not crying... and do your finals without being affected...
maybe we define relationship differently...i still care how you feel...

one night of history change everything... hais...wrong feeling and wrong expression was given... that mistake the whole thing...

what the hell am i writting... never mind... it does not matter anymore... im lost...

goodnight my precious lurrb
# shUMin __ __

thank you for the wonderful memories...

2006-08-03T23:22:00.000+08:00

the story of everything... it has simply just ended... stop viewing my blog please... stop please... just stop... I dont wish you to continue... ...

its no diff from a fairytale in the beginning... but no matter what fairytale dont last... or rather... it dont exist in this world... you brighter up my life with your torch but you slowly extinguished the fire with your bear hand... or izzet the surrounding people who blew it off...

All thanks to your friend... whom added so much salt and pepper upon it... making everything worsen everyday... im sorry for the incorrect attitude that ive left... ive turned into the wrong feeling from the very starting...

your blur feeling make me laugh... your sound make me smile... your action make me feel and your care made mistake for it...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

memories...

2006-08-03T23:05:00.000+08:00

May I
May I be there with you for everything?
May I be the first one to share all your happiness and sorrows with you when you meet them?
May I have you telling me all your happiness and sorrow?
May I help you through with everything in your life?
May I hope to see you everyday, every hour, every minute every second every time?
May I be the one helping you through for all difficulties?
May I be the one to wake you up every morning and covering blanket for you every night?
May I be there to wait for you from work everyday?
May I may I may I... ...

It all started on that particular day on that particular train in the particular cabin with our particular friends to a particular place at that particular time with our particular outfit drinking that particular alcohol on that particular chair in that particular pub...

He step into my world and left umpteen foot-prints all about... memories of his cute chubby blurry face before she step in, ish always there... microphone was on his hand with no words sang... haha... made me laugh silently behind him... wondering how come hes singing so soft... or rather... holding on to the microphone but no sound was produce... in another word... not singing...haha...cute...

but the moment she stepped in... everything seems to be changing...the colour of my world change from colourful to only black and white... I got no idea how come... but it just happens like that... it just gave me the feeling of which she belongs to him... but it wasnt... everything ish just simply incorrect...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

2006-08-01T22:24:00.000+08:00

31st July 2006

at night while changing the water for xiaohui and xiaomin... i saw that xiaomin was bitting xiaohui hand... at first... i thought they were both playing... but i then realize that xiaomin was bitting on xiaohuis hand instead of playing with him... i tried to lossen xiaomin by touching her... but it seems like theres no help... i got panic... and i immediately took a satay stick... wanting to go pass her mouth... but she just simply refused to release... when she finally release... i took another container and put inside... with water and food... wanting to separate them... i felt so heart broken... xiaohui was the only thing he left for me... but i failed to protected him... hais...

1st August 2006

took my chinese oral at sixth level double class room today... i was coughing like a tb patient... as though my lungs are coming out... i just simply dont know how to read... =s... when back to clementi and rush to the clinic... i cant wait any longer le... im feeling very terrible... coughing non-stop the whole day... while waiting for my turn to go into the doctors room... i went to the big bookstore and got the teachers materials... when back to the clinic immediately after that... doctor diagnose me with sore-throat , cough and flu... mm... was waiting for superman to come to clementi... since he say see doctor and see him all the same... but no lehs... superman didnt wanted to come down to clementi... went home and took my early dinner... ate my medicine and fallen asleep... im feeling so soft... hais... now... while typing... im coughing like dont know what... this afternoon talk to him until his phone no batt... haha... =p...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

wonderful night with the outcome of sexy voice..

2006-07-29T11:32:00.000+08:00

Haha... yesterday went drinking with valen zhongting and kenny... wow... FUN...! we went to wubar... the bar that zhongtings brother opened... we drank chivas and played around...

i gave ken those math riddle that mr heng gave fourfive... a joke that his friends student made... ken helped me to pour one cup of chivas when mine was finished... and after that cup.. .ken... thanks... you made me drunk... or rather bloody hell tipsy...

there was a girl working there who likes zhongting... and we purposely act a show out... when valen went to the toilet and the back ( of which we gotta walk pass the counter shes in) i purposely shout... eh zhongting... faster accompany your dear to the toilet... haha... that girl her was BLACK... bloody hell black... wahahaha... oops... sorry *bleahs* then i say i wan bao qing tian that song... then they was like asking mi why... I said tai feng you ge bao qing tian... tie mian ruo chi bian ren jian hahaha... I was bad... but sorry...

at around two plus i called uncle toh to come and fetch me home... return home at two plus... tipsy like hell... if at that time got people attack me... i confirm cannot fight back... =s this morning when I woke up... my sound ish SHO SEXY... i lost my voice... cause before going over to drink last night i already got abit of sore throat... den wake up... my voice ish totally gone...due to all the shouting and acting last night... =p

i called valen this morning and ask her what happen after I left and she say... when she left she purposely went up to that girl and said byebye... hahaha... bet shes in total heart-broken... hahaha =p

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

fever to the max

2006-07-25T20:58:00.000+08:00

wow... what a fantestic day... when to school as per normal... as stupid and lame as normal...

stayed back for art today after school till around 4 odd... theres a carpenter in the art room today... guess who ? mrs song lo... wah... the more she knocks the more jialat my headaches goes... finally finish and went out of school together with ivy...

i thought my hand was cold... but it wasnt... ivy touch my forehead and she said... " wah... so hot..." went home and test... cool... my temperature was 38.3... as the time pass... my temperature got higher and higher... till it reaches 38.7... =)

im too weak and soft to do anything... all i can do ish to hug my dog... as i stand up and walk to places like my room and the kitchen... i felt so giddy... any point of time can faint... and no one took me to the doctor... im too weak to go down myself... all i can do... ish only to lie on the sofa and sleep... or rather rest...

didnt really dare to go into deep sleep... afraid history might happen again... i dont wish to sleep til faint... especially when theres no one at home... hais... what a tiring day...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

=)

2006-07-23T22:48:00.000+08:00

mmm... just changed and updated my blog this evening...

Friday
mmm... morning went to school alight from the car le den realize that I left my piece of glass at home... wanted to go home and take after school... den I called mrs song but she never pick up... so I stayed at home... till around three odd she called me... den I got no choice... went back to school... due to that piece of glass [ ( 52 x 37 ) 3mm thickness ] I gotta take taxi back... stayed in school till around 6 den went home with zhu they all... yesh !... ive finish my art... mmm... maybe just some more stones will do... went back to clementi and drop at the NTUC bus stop... went to NTUC and bought some food for the following day...

Saturday
Morning woke up see the sky... very scared... afraid that my plan have to stop... at around eleven odd... mmm the sky still ok... den made bread... left home and went down to bugis to buy some fire cracker etc... after that... met him at Harbor Front... went to Sentosa and set our tend... played through the whole day... I got balloons... crazy ribbon... light sticks... made bread... got sasi... bought jelly... got the sweet that he like and we play like crazy... I kept spraying the ribbon on him... and he said... later you will know my power... he sprayed me till my hair turns white... coz its finishing soon... hais... we use candle to make heart or in fact... C heart W... haha... den I went to write something stupid on the shore near the sea... haha... stupid but fun... we stayed till night den go home...

Sunday
Morning woke up then his dad brought him to the clinic... I stayed and talk to his mum and bro... we rush down to tiong to watch movie, Recycle... its a nice show... haha... at least to me... =p...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

i

2006-07-06T22:45:00.000+08:00

I didnt want to admit it,
it was easier to lie,
and hide the hurt and emptiness,
to smile instead of cry.
i didn't want to face the fact,
my life is full of pain,
and I long to stop my bleeding heart,
and maybe smile again.
cause I feel oh-so-forgotten,
so betrayed and so alone,
without a trace of forgiveness,
and no soul to call my own.
i didnt want to admit the fact,
i cannot spread my wings,
and my happiness has melted,
into tears and other things.
its hard for me to hide the fact,
my wishes have no home,
and return to anguish,
bow my head and cry alone.

chOir

2006-07-06T22:12:00.000+08:00

mmm... choir committees, sec 4s and sec 5s stepped down on last friday, 30th of june 2006... it was a sad and happy moment... the moment

the moment when cheryl yong started her speech... my tears flew down automatically by itself without and sign... when it was my turn to say my speech... tears are even more that ms ho got to take over my turn and say her thoughts and feel...

ms wong came into the room and shared pictures with everyone and told them about my story...i aint feeling any proud of it... as people might just say... " aiyahs... just an operation only what... now she also okay already what..."

i presented the gift of token to the repective teachers and we cut the cake... in total... we had one cake three A4 cards... one A3 card for all the teachers involved...

both of the teachers ms wong and ms ho, also wrote notes behind the picture that they gave...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

SHE

2006-06-28T17:02:00.000+08:00

When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of question,
She is wondering how long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers " im fine" after a few second
She is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you,
she is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL says I love you, she means it.
When a GIRL says " i miss you ",
No one in this world can miss you more than her.

24th June

2006-06-26T23:01:00.000+08:00

On the 24th of June (Saturday), my school had a performing arts concert in Singapore Poly... it took everyone a very long time to practice and rehearsal... its also the last performance for the graduating people...

We left the school at 2 and reach there at about 2.3... everything goes as follows... choir met a lot of difficulties especially committees member... despite of the umpteen reminder of keeping quiet... the noise level usually goes up...

the girls were kept in the room during our break because cheryl and i found out that choir toilet was choke with pad tissue and shit PLUS it was NOT FLASH AWAY... we got irritated and we told the teachers... time was given but no one admitted... no one wants to admit we cant go... so in the end... cheryl and i decided to go up and clear off all the mess... as ms lim says... that person OWN us alot !...

He came and watch that night and he fetched me home after that... he lost his voice during the days and we went around clementi hunting for congee but we failed to do so... thinking of cooking for him and end up we got the Tiong Bahru porridge...

In the middle of the night... I remembered that I cough non-stop because of the choking and he actually woke up and pat my back for me... felt so sweet and nice... normally he will ask me to make honey drink for him but when we woke up the following day he actually went to the kitchen automatically and make for me... you’re getting sweeter and sweeter... I was thinking of not going over to his side as my homework ish not done yet... but after several thinking... I got changed and I went out with him...

We went to the Watson and got wet tissue and body spray and we left clementi... pass by aljunied we saw pasa malam and I asked him whether he wanna go or not... if yes then drop down... when we reach home we had steam boat and we went to the room and settle down... time pass fast!... hes packing his bag while im doing my work and time passed to six plus… his mum kept asking mi to eat bird nest as she knows that I dont...

We took pictures before leaving the house... sending him in... and after that his dad drove me home...

Pig... listen up!... I am NOW waiting for that day... where the promise that you gave me one year ago to HAPPEN...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

SuperWoman - Gary

2006-06-23T15:13:00.001+08:00

EARLY IN THE MORNING
I PUT BREAKFAST AT YOUR TABLE
yi ye dou mei shui dan wo
bu ceng ru ci qing xing
wo zao can zhun bei le ni
ai chi de dong xi
zhe ci huan wo deng ni bei ka fei
de xiang wei jiao xing

xiang yao zhao hui mei tian zao chen
dui wo wei xiao zhe de ni
hai neng gou zuo xie shen me
dai ti wo de qian yi
zong shi wang zhe wo xiao xin yi yi
shun zhe wo hu xier wo jing ran li suo dang ran
rang ni jing pi li jin

YOU WERE MY SUPER WOMAN
an jing de zai shen bian
wu tiao jian gei wo
meng mei yi qiu de wen rou
BUT I AM ONLY HUMAN
wo zen me bu dong ni duo ji mo
can ren de fan le cuobu neng shi qu ni
OOH BABY BABY

YOU FOUGHT YOUR WAY THROUGH THE RUSH HOUR
TRY TO MAKE IT HOME JUST FOR ME
yue guang xia jing jing kao zhe bi ci
zhi qiu ye chang yi dian
you duo jiu mei you hao hao kan ni
zhi shi ren ding le wo
wu lun zai shen me shi hou hui tou
dou you ni de xiao rong

shi wo hu lue le ni ye hui you
xiang yao ku de gan jue
mei you yi zhong fu chu ying gai
yong yuan xin gan qing yuan
zai gei bei chong huai de nan ren
zui hou yi ci ji hui
huan wo ren nai huan wo deng dai
bu yao zhen de qi quan

YOU WERE MY SUPER WOMAN
an jing de zai shen bian
wu tiao jian gei wo
meng mei yi qiu de wen rou
BUT I AM ONLY HUMAN
wo zen me bu dong ni duo ji mo
can ren de fan le cuo
bu neng shi qu ni

OOH BABY
shi wo ba ai xiang de tai jian dan
yi wei zhi yao wo cun zai
jiu neng rang ni qu nuan
xin li wei yi de SUPER WOMAN
mei you ren neng dai ti
bu neng xiang xiang geng bu neng yuan liang
zhe yang rang ai hua cheng hui YEAH

YOU WERE MY SUPER WOMAN
an jing de zai shen bian
wu tiao jian gei wo
meng mei yi qiu de wen rou
BUT I AM ONLY HUMAN
ke shi wo zhi shi yi ge
zhi shi yi ge ren
wo zen me bu dong ni duo ji mo
can ren de fan le cuo
bu neng shi qu ni
IF YOU FELL IT IN YOUR HEART
AND YOU UNDERSTAND MESTOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE
EVERYBODY SING ALONG WITH ME

YOU WERE MY SUPER WOMAN
an jing de zai shen bian
wu tiao jian gei wo
meng mei yi qiu de wen rou
BUT I AM ONLY HUMAN
wo zen me bu dong ni duo ji mo
can ren de fan le cuo
bu neng shi qu ni

Too Lost In Yoy - Sugababes

2006-06-23T00:36:00.000+08:00

you look into my eyes
i go out of my mind
i cant see anything
cause this love's got me blind
i cant help myself
i cant break the spell i
i cant even try

im in over my head
you got under my skin
i got no strength at all
in the state that im in

and my knees are weak
and my mouth cant speak
fell too far this time

Chorus:
baby, im too lost in you
caught in you
lost in everything about you
so deep, i cant sleep
i cant think
i just think about the things that you do
(you do)
im too lost in you
(too lost in you)

ooh
well you whispered to me
and Iishiver inside
you undo me and move me
in ways undefined
and you re all i see
and you re all i need
help me baby (help me baby)
help me baby (help me now)

cause im slipping away
like the sand to the tide
flowing into your arms
falling into your eyes
if you get too near
i might disappear
i might lose my mind
oooh

Chorus:
baby, im too lost in you
caught in you
lost in everything about you
so deep, i cant sleep
i cant think
i just think about the things that you do (you do)
im too lost in you
(too lost in you)

im going crazy in love for you baby
(i cant eat and i cant sleep)
im going down like a stone in the sea
yeah, no one can rescue me
(no one can rescue me)
ooh ooooh

oooh, my baby
oooh, baby, baby, baby

Chorus:
baby, im too lost in you
caught in you
lost in everything about you
so deep, i cant sleep
i cant think
i just think about the things that you do (you do)
im too lost in you (too lost in you)
oooh

im lost in you
im lost in you
im lost in everything about you
so deep (so deep),
i can't sleep (no,no,no)
i can't think
i just think about the things that you do (you do)
im too lost in you
(too lost in you)

why ?

2006-06-23T00:34:00.000+08:00

have you ever wondered
why the sky doesnt run out of tears?
why did God create us with tears in our eyes?
or
why no one has the excuse to be happy all the time?

LOVE

2006-06-23T00:29:00.000+08:00

love has taught me to lie...
it taught me things which i never thought i knew...
give me something to believe in...
love is a living lie...
there isnt a happy ending...
no fairytale...
nothing...
im broken...
ive faded...
im just a nobody without you...
im begging for a 2nd chance...
my pride has spilled on the floor...
if you could see me crying...
baby here i am...
take me or break me...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

. - * LOVE * - .

2006-06-23T00:23:00.000+08:00

Take my HAND*
hold me close
and say three words like you used to do
just three wordsI love you

hold me tight
and we will run together
in search of the dream
the dream that we shared
just YOU and ME*

*the love we share will never be erase*

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

today...

2006-06-23T00:20:00.000+08:00

The seven o clock show ish getting more and more touching... very nice... mmm... DouDou (also known as PeiQi) actually hated YiRou a lot because DouDou thinks that YiRou wanna separate both herself and her dad up... but despite of all the cruel things that DouDou did to YiRou... she still love her as much as how she loves her own kid...

Today everyone involved in concert came back for a full-dress rehearsal together with the alumni and it was a bloody hell tiring day... went to the school at 8.30 am and started making up... changing and we left the school at 10.30am... half of the choir went up to the bus as told my Mr. Charles Yip and when we reached... Ms Wong called me and she was asking me who gave us the flag to alight the bus... in the first place we told Mr. Yip we’re waiting for the rest of the choir mate... and he says... "Never mind... you all will still reach the same place... just alight the bus..." After our pathetic lunch (that only contains fried rice taste with only pepper and one tasteless chicken wing...” we went back to the room and touch-up our make ups... everyone inside the room was making tons of noise... despite of the umpteen shouting that Cheryl and I gave they was still as noise as the market... when we went up to the stage... we went SO off pitch... after everything... the whole choir was been scolded by Ms. Ho of the noise level and their disciple... Cheryl was so happy when they were scolded as they never learn their lessons... haha!

All im waiting for every night ish a call from him at 9.30... today I receive his message at 8.45pm... I was happy but when I called him he did not pick up the call... so I was thinking... mmm ok maybe I shall go for my bathe first... when im bathing half way... he called... lucky im finishing soon... so I went into my room and called him while drying my hair as Ms, Lim applied a lot of gel for me while bun-ing my hair this morning... but it wasnt steady... I was in his msn account checking his mails when handful of people inside his account came and talked to me... then I receive one picture and I accepted... after receiving I was very THANKFUL to him... its not the first time I saw this kinda of picture... despite I told him I DONT like... and yups... once again I saw it... we fought thru the phone and messages... but aiyahs... ish like you stand into my postion and think lor... you say you wont mind if i were to post lidat and take a picture with other guys... but when things happen... it will be worse then what i did today...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

long time

2006-06-19T23:06:00.000+08:00

Came back from genting and it WASNT a nice trip... I dont wanna go but was been focus and I REGRET !!!... I was neglected by her because of that farker... kaos !~ ... I SWEAR I will NEVER go with him to any country again !

Pig you sure you wanna quite commando ?... anything lo... no matter what is your choice ma... but my advice ish bear with it lo... go until where also the same...

rushing for the performing arts concert until very chiam... very tired for everything... secondary one and secondary two faults must push till secondary three and secondary four fault... hais... chiam...

hais holidays ish ending soon... SO sianz... help !...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

hais...

2006-06-10T12:47:00.000+08:00

On the 8th of June... was WaLmOnNeSrc’s one year eleven months birthday... one year eleven months is also her 23 months birthday, 644 days living ever since year 2004... it was a happy day for both WaLmOnNeSrc’s owner but also their sad day... the male owner ish going in le... not into jail... hahaha... into his ns life... commando training institute located at pasir ris...

On the 9th of June... his family and I drove him in to the camp and view... nights before everything... tears kept running down on my cheeks... it seems like the life in there ish alright as everything ish quite good... especially the bed !... king coil ok?!... kaos... haha... ish around 25 cm thick man... haha... after everything... his parents send mi back to my family shop and I took his bubbly brother to the toilet... it’s when both parents met everyone... both mother kept talking... especially about both of us... I got totally no idea what are they talking about... =s... aiyah... I got no idea... just feel very lonely after he left... no idea for everything... all I know ish to sit beside the telephone at 9pm – 10pm waiting for a call... talk for around 10 mins and then put down le... continue to message until he gotta off his phone... hais... I miss you...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

one short... six day filled...

2006-05-16T23:19:00.000+08:00

mmm... got a lot of entries... Thursday - 11th May, Friday – 12th May, Saturday - 13th May, Sunday - 14th May, Monday - 15th May and Tuesday - 16th May...

Wow... got a lot... mmm okays lets start from Thursday then... Yes! I done with my exam le... coz to me... no matter how hard I tried studying Chinese (paper 2) so also cannot make it... I GOT sho boring after exams at home man... called June up and we have finally decided to go Jurong Point for dinner and hunting Mother Day present... We wanted to go for our dinner at Bomber Billy BUT theres too much people le... so we change our plan... after a LONG walk... we have finally decided to go Fish & Co. We had our dinner at the balcony and TRUST ME! ... Its sucks! ... We had exactly the same meal... even the soup of the day... ish filled with lots of MSG man... hais... the fish ish burnt and certain slices of it ish TASTELESS ! ... Hais... we regretted it... we went home at around 11+... haha...

On Friday, I went out with June again... haha... cause no choice... Valen wasnt free... sho no choice... den never mind... we intend to go bugis as June wanted to make her nails... sho okay lor... I accompany her... I set off with my mum as she also wanted to go bugis... June and her had indeed a lot of things to talk about... but aiyahs... still lose to myself with her... wahahaha... keke... we went to Swenson for our lunch... mmm ! Its marvelous...! I had fish baked rice and she had mmm spaghetti... the soup of the day was cream of mushroom and we enjoyed... follow up the drink we chose tea... haha... I cant stand her man... she tot that the tea does not required us to put in the necessary things like sugar and I told her... gal... have a mouth and try how bitter it ish without sugar haha... she followed me to put in sugar and milk BUT the whole cup was not touched by her... haha... after our lunch... we went to seiyu indenting to get one umbrella... we were acting like two thief stealing things as our actions were quick and stupid plus the perfume promoter wanted to promote us with some perfume... before he could finish his sentence... June pulled me off as if theres someone else following us... actually it wasnt! its because the rain had stop and we didnt wanted it to start pouring again... thats why our action were very fishy... we went to far east after that went Francis said that hes not going for dinner... we had our dinner at sakura... mmm after that we went home...

On Saturday... actually wanted to go for dinner and shopping with Jiejie but she wasnt free... so end up I went out with my cousin... while waiting for him... I saw Stephanie and Yao Zong but they did not saw me... follow on when I met my cousin I brought him to got a bottle of lotion... while on my way home... June message me... asking me to go out... but I reach home le... den I was like... mmm okays lo… you wait for me there... I went home and put down my things and went Chinatown and meet her... we actually intended to drink beer for that night but when I went... she opened one bottle of wine drinking with Sara waiting for me... it was quite nice... 16%... den June this naughty girl... she said... mmm someone special ish coming... den Sara and I was like... asking who was it... but she refused to say... I den say... Fine lo... Sara, lets go... haha she had so choice but to say... who knows... that girl was actually valen... aiyohs... cant stand her... we had a lot of fun that night... at the end of the day... I drank quite a lot... and I was quite tipsy...oops... haha... we den went home at around 2+ and gave mummy a big surprise... we slept at around 2.30am and I was awaken up by that busted television show at 6.15 AM wah... I cant stand him man... got time for him to sleep dun wanna sleep...

On Sunday morning when I was awaken up UNWILLINGLY! I cant sleep back... hais... when I went to the kitchen wanting to make a cup of milo he asked mi to sit down there and wait for the washing machine to be done... I was like... for what... washing machine DONT NEED US TO WAIT... then he went to the room and sleep... make mi AWAKE FOR NO REASON... I went out to causeway point and... mmm it wasnt really that nice to walk... got nothing to walk... Singapore should build more shopping centers =s

On Monday when I was totally done with ALL MY PAPERS when home wanting to sleep till I song!... but too bad... I rush down to my family shop straight after I reached home... daddy wasnt feeling well and he went off after preparing the food in the morning...

On Tuesday... I saw daddy le... BUT something big happen... from his chest till his toes was all filled with hot boiling oil... everyone in the shop got panic and our actions got fast... we ask him to take off his shirt and un-zip his pants (never take out) and we kept on pouring water on him... letting it to flow from his body to his leg... we applied the burno for him immediately and myself and mama went over to the other building and got his pants shirt and under garment to change... he went home after that... the shop was only left with three female and one male... I was afraid that we have a shortage of man and I called that pig and ask him to come down immediately... when the peak hours ish gone... the pig and I settled down and peel the egg... I peel till fall asleep... haha... too tired le... haha cant stand it... den doze off... =)

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

eUu... ...

2006-05-14T19:57:00.000+08:00

You Must Be Tired
Cause You've Been Running In My Mind

You Must Have Been A Thief
Cause You've Stole My Heart Away

You Must Have Been A Good Kisser
Cause You've Took My Breath Away

I Must Have Been A Lousy Shooter
Cause I've Been Missing You..!!

I Must Have Owe You Something
Cause I've Given My Life To You

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

LOVE

2006-05-14T09:05:00.000+08:00

Give our love a chance ferr one more day...
We could have worked things out
Taking time ish what LOVE ish all about...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

i cant

2006-05-14T09:04:00.000+08:00

I have a lot of things to say to tell and to share with you.
But I dont know where to start and where to stop.
I dont know where to begin and where to end.
I miss you when I know i dont know how to cherish.
I love you for what reason I also dont know.

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

i cant

2006-05-14T09:03:00.000+08:00

i cant smile like nothings wrong
i cant talk like everything is prefect
i cant act like its all a dreami cant walk away and pretend like nothings happening
Every time I look back, memories will flash by

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

im thinking ...

2006-05-14T09:01:00.000+08:00

im thinking of you day and night
even though you dont speak a word,
your voice is still in my head
do you know i think of you everyday?
do you even know my love for you?

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

...

2006-05-14T08:59:00.000+08:00

my shadow is the only one that walks beside me
my shallow heart is the only thing that is beating
sometimes i wish someone out there will find me
till then i walk alone

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

i miss euu ... ...

2006-05-14T08:57:00.000+08:00

I miss you...
I miss your voice...
I miss your sights...
I miss your jokes...
I miss your everything...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

guadian angel

2006-05-14T08:52:00.000+08:00

You are a light in the dark shining your love into my life
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you i d cross the world, for you i d do anything

When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and liesi ll be your strength,
i ll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when its gone

From the moment that I met you its been so damn real
My heart seems to skip another beat
Every time we speak,
I cant believe I feel so weak
Tell me that you really need me and you want me and you miss me
And you love me

i ll be around waiting for you I ll put it down be the woman for you

You were once my guardian angel, now you are gonna still be my one and only guardian angel..

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

30-04-06

2006-05-14T08:47:00.000+08:00

yesterday went to pub with jiejie ... haha ... meet her at heeren DBS bank then we slowly slowly walk to the nearest seven-eleven which ish like at lucky plaza ... then we went to balcony ... went in not even one minute, we step out le ... it was very very crowd ... we then drive to boat quay that are ... jiejie didnt know the road there so we loiter for quite some time ... but who knows ... when we reach we took a very long time to walk to our destination...by the time ish almost 12 le ... haha ... lucky the following day no need to study nor work ... if not sure die de ...

when we reach ... we order nite (strawberry) ... drinking and talking till around 3am+ we then go off ... I told her ... my clog was angry with mi for not wearing for such a long time ... thats why my clog bite me ... she was there laughing ... we finally reach to that car and she drive me home ...

while drinking inside chill room ... we had a lot of chat.. or rather ... once we meet at DBS atm we started talking ... and ... mmm I got a lot of surprises from her ... haha ... things that I didnt expect ... hahaha ... she also got a lot from me ... so never mind ... keke ...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

my reply...

2006-05-14T08:46:00.000+08:00

i dont need expensive things to accompany me...

not all things ish suitable for me...

if i serious go after that...

i wont even be together with you le...

this ish all what i can tell you...

your message...

2006-05-14T08:43:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... I dont feel good about those guys that like you... I just wan to say out what I feel... I dont know what they are thinking of doing to you and you will never know what will happen... So you must be careful in how you going to handle their problem... I dont know you playing with them or what but please dont do anything silly because it will get you into trouble... So please handle the problem properly... I know maybe you will break up with me when I in army but meanwhile please take care of you... Dont do silly things to bring harm to your own beingâ€¦ think maturely... try to think for yourself and your family... Spare a thought for them... If youre playing with those guys then theres a limit to playing... Dont play till trouble arises and its too difficult to solve it then u will get yourself into trouble...

If you really feel that being together with mi you not satisfied or whatever things then we can still be friends

like this type of things we have to make clear to each other then can... so if really you feel that I not good enough then you find another guy better than me then you can tell me... We can still be friends...

I really dont know how you feel about those guys... you may lie it when they buy gifts for you (which I cant afford)... so if really got one day that really happen that you fall in love with either one of them... please tell me... If you dun like them, make things clear to them and try not to mingle with their feelings...

Its up to you to listen to me... I care for you thats why I say... every time I hear about you with those guys... I dont know whether my feeling for you still strong or not... you can chat with them I dun mind but you have to be careful with what you say...

I really wanna last long with you but your actions doesnt show...I wan to... but whenever i see Jacky, Geddis Wei Xuan, Jin Biao, ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC message you all those stuff... And you never CLEARLY reply them... you think i still got the mood to show?

i go army then you think I can fang xing you outside? Especially now this type of situation with so many guys around? And you doesnt know how to handle them?

long long story...

2006-05-14T08:39:00.000+08:00

Wow... seriously a long long long time never blog le... very long wor... so Ive decided to separated everything up... one story one paragraph... hahaha!

Have mountain high things to write... haha... mmm... Firstly... today ish the actual day of examination... mm... Thought I was having exam with the group of people I saw previous week... but no lehs... I was having it in the hall with three express four express and five normal academic... anyway... today's weather was good (if only I never go school) cause of the rain...I had my English paper two and mother tongue paper one today...all in the hall... =s

mmm... today ish always the day of clementi pasa malam open-store... have a long time never walk in pasa malam le...this afternoon when Im back home went there to buy one crayon show to go home and watch as Im collecting it too... I have got 1,3,4,5,7,8,12 and one that ish the whole series of 1-12... but not repeat de... theres a lot of people especially in the night... squeezing around... went with Cheryl and bang onto Weiyang... Fateha... Wahyudi and his sister... Wah... Singapore ish indeed a small country... I got candy floss, muah ji and Macdonald de chocolate milk shake...Cheryl got tapioca...after that we went to have pizza together... wahahaha... but we couldnt finish it... so we brought it home...

friends are all fake... especially her... I dont understand how come she can act so well... no wonder shes from that cca... whatever it ish... I dont wanna spoil my day just because of this...

I no longer have that kinda of feelings of which i always use to have for you anymore... ish not that i dont love you anymore but the feeling from the past and present ish very very different... especially when you send the message telling your friend that Im out with Cheryl when they dont even know who ... you said ish a him... but guys are not as concerning or kpo as girl... follow-on you say they... you make me suspect... Im sorry but all this ish my xing-li huaâ€¦ though you can also say me...

Anyway... just when for my recent eyes scan and I got a bad result...I was admitted to the hospital in year 2002 September 29 Sunday... from there... straight after I reach the hospital after a scolding from my step-father to my mum... I was pushed to the operation immediately...cause normally one that reach A&E still have to wait for whole day... but my ish different...as said by my doctor, Dr Keith Goh... if Im half an hour later to be sent, I wont be here blog-ing anymore...I was diagnose with AVM - stiff neck...blood clot...water flood...abnormal nerves... I had a lot of follow on check ups after my two weeks coma and one more additional week stay-in... den recently I just have my head scan in last December when the result came out... Dr Goh (as known as my god-father) realize that my water pressure went back... I had way too much water compare to a normal human... due to this he was afraid that it might affects my eye sight... he ask mi to go to see a eye specialist... my first check up was at Mount Alvernia and that doctor Dr Lim diagnose me with right view partially blind... he then send mi for further check... the result that came out after the second detailed check was that Im half right blind for both the eyes and theres no way to cure... just hoping that the water pressure will not rise... if not I might be even blind... as presently my nerve relating to my right view ish dead...

goodnights my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

...

2006-05-14T08:34:00.000+08:00

hais... feeling sho sad ferr my darling valen ... felt sho helpless ferr her ... cannot do much ferr her ... all ii can do now ish tuhh pray ferr her that everything end soon ...

WOW !!! im sho in lurrb with WILSON NEO!!! the post that he hab when he was playing pool and ish sho sho sho sho charming !!! making miie going crazyy ferr him !!! Hahaha ... maybe only tuhh miie lahhs ... cause im SHO ADDICTED BY HIM !!! sho in lurrb with him ... haas ... mmm ... tym past fast ... cause its our fifteen month today ... haas ... mmm ... went thrrough serriously a lot of things ... got ups and got down ... got happy and confirm got sad ... burrt this ish part of our journey ... things that humans gotta face ... just hope tuhh last long with him =)

Wah ... on the other hand ... today ish the starting of my final yearr exam le ... hais ... just praying hard that everything goes fine ... sho scare ... mmm... it's late le ... why you still reading my blog ... go sleep already ... cause I wanna sleep le ... haas

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

tell miie euu lurrb miie

2006-05-14T08:30:00.000+08:00

years and years of waiting,
acompanied with lots and lots of hurtings...
all the love and care giving,
were nothing but lies,so deceiving...

love seems such an illusion...
ending me up in confusion...
what a frustration,
i can never get a conclusion...
so we had a confrontation,
telling you my present situation...
that its my decision,
to give up on my patience...

you gently held my tearing face,
wiped the sorrow off,
and you gazed...
tellin me it isnt very grace
to look like this on my birthday party craze...

your warm hand seems like a miracle healer,
immunes the pain within,
it feels so much greater...
do u know how much it matters?
for this magical touch to make me better??

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __

neber be replaced

2006-05-14T08:26:00.000+08:00

Baby I love you and i'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And I promise you that you will never be replaced
Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me too
Until the end of time
From the day I met you I know we've be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and i wanna have your kids
Thinking never compare to feel enough to kisses
I can say Im truly happy to the same
You've made me think I'll die and live my life hesitate
There's never been no doubt in my mind
That ill regret ever having you by my side
But if the day come that i ll have to let you go
I think that something I should probably let you know
With everything that i spent with you
Then i will miss you cause I m happy that I have you at all

I feel for you yes I do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time ...

goodnight my lurrb
# shUMin __ __